3 reasons I broke up with Facebook

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I joined Facebook in 2008 and immediately enjoyed re-connecting with friends I’d lost track of over the years. Had to learn some etiquette and boundaries from my teenagers, but it quickly become a valuable connecting tool for me in ministry and personal life. Almost everyone I know is on FB.

So why did I break up with Facebook recently? Three reasons.

1. This election. Elizabeth and I studied Spanish in Costa Rica for eight months in 2016. Cramming a new language into a ‘mature’ brain meant I was toast mentally by about 5pm. FB was a way to relax and connect back in the US.

Until we all (myself included) started getting testy, rude and/or disagreeable, saying things we would not say if the person(s) were in the room. Over politics.

Tobias Rose-Stockwell’s post How We Broke Democracy is worth a read. It makes a case against (me) using FB. He says the way we use our technology, particularly Facebook, ‘has changed this election and is now undermining our ability to empathize.’  The powerful FB algorithm has created what my friend Danny Slavich calls our own ‘personally curated social media echo chambers’ where I had actually cut myself off from people while reinforcing my own sinful opinions and pride.

2. Neighboring 101. We chose to live in a part of Atlanta where we are a minority because we wanted to be part of the solution to racism. But I lost my way along the virtual trail. I forgot who my neighbors are and that God’s great command says clearly…

Love the Lord your God… and your neighbors as yourself.

Which leads to some hard questions!

  • Can I really love God without loving neighbors as myself?
  • Am I loving myself as God loves if I’m not loving my neighbors?
  • Are FB friends or people in my physical community my neighbors?
  • Do neighbors tweet, post or talk? Which is more helpful and kind?
  • What if I treated my neighbors like people are treated on FB? ummm

The most basic teachings of the Christian faith have so much to say to our current situation. Scripture says far more about loving actual neighbors than it does about political involvement.

3. Need more joy in life. This rarely-quoted verse in the Bible startled me when Pastor Héctor read it last Sunday.  “…I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink (keyboard and screen?). Instead I hope to come to you and talk face to face, so that our j o y may be c o m p l e t e.‘ (2 John 13).

My mother taught me that ‘joy is being glad to be with someone’ and if there is anything I need or want more of now, it is joy in the midst of division, sadness and anger. I need to be together, talking face-to-face MORE not less.

So, see you later Facebook. It was nice for a while.

 

(Note: I’m not closing my account. Yet. Nor am I advocating that you close your account. Rather, I’m using it like email or snail mail for messages. And I’m keeping up with this blog and Twitter. FB has a redemptive purpose in that I can communicate with many people who are indeed real-life friends and family. For that I am grateful.)

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Friend’s son killed. Hope?

Mark Rodriguez, the 17-year old son of a friend, was killed in a random shooting last night in Norfolk VA. Carlos Rodriguez, Mark’s dad, is a church planter I coach. It’s surreal. Too impossible to consider!

(Update: Sunday Carlos and Leigh Ellen spoke at Mark’s memorial service. Local TV coverage here. Funeral services this Wednesday at 1pm at Tabernacle Church in Norfolk.)

Mark was coming home from a graduation event at his school and a guy taking pot shots with a high-powered rifle killed Mark. The police tracked him down. He took the life of an officer and then was killed in the arrest struggle. News account here and here.

My wife Elizabeth and I were discussing, “Could there be any worse news?” I’m dull with shock. Can’t imagine what Carlos and Leigh Ellen are feeling. Mark was the oldest of four. What do his younger brothers Will and Daniel and his little sister Maria feel? Their church family at Redeemer Presbyterian in Virginia Beach? The kids at Mark’s school? The whole community? The grieving police officer’s family and the Norfolk PDt? What in the world do you do but weep? Writing this all out is my way of processing what has happened and what hope we should believe in light of it

Life is short. And it is wise to stop and ask, ‘What hope do you have? Are you ready for eternity?’

Here’s what I know. Based on his dad’s testimony, I know Mark was ready.

In our many coaching calls, Carlos talked about his son Mark quite a lot. And I enjoyed listening. This young man sounded like the kid every parent would hope for. Carlos said Mark loved the Lord. He was very challenged by the call to be a ‘radical Christian.’ Last summer he went on a long mission trip to serve at an orphanage in Nicarauga last summer. Not a week with his buddies but a summer. Because he was outwardly focused on others. His dad said he had a super high IQ, loved sports, school, was applying for scholarships – could do anything he wanted. He wanted to be a radical Christian. From what I can tell by listening to his dad, he was.

But God decided to take him home suddenly. Crushingly sudden and seemingly random to us. Causes me to wonder about God’s wisdom sometimes…

Trusting that the Church in Virginia Beach and surrounding areas – which in Carlos’ case includes the PCA and two other churches where he had served – will be the hands and feet of Jesus. That they will weep and mourn together knowing that Mark is happier than we can imagine with Jesus.

Can we know for sure? Yes. In Mark’s case it was clear he trusted in Christ’s substitutionary death on the cross in his place and that because Jesus paid the penalty for his sins, God who raised Jesus from the dead, will one day raise Him from the dead too.

Carlos just texted me:

Thank you so much for your prayers and thoughts. I don’t often understand God’s ways but I trust His character.

This man Carlos and his son Mark – and their whole family and church – inspire me. May you dear reader consider this amazing hope and receive what Christ Jesus has done for sinners who will simply trust in him.

Mark was blogging last month. “God is super-good. Can’t wait to be with him forever.”

I’ve been meditating on heaven a lot lately, and I must say, it wells my eyes with tears of joy every now and then. What a beautiful thought that one day, I will be completely in the presence of God and will actually be able to feel the magnitude of all his love and peace with no earthly fears or worries to distract me. The joy that I feel now, the serenity I feel now, will finally be made perfect.

The presence of God here on earth is enough to make me shudder in wonder. I’ve had some incredible moments in life that can only be explained as miracles where I see my Abba, my Father move in love for me so powerfully; it brings me to my knees in amazement. To think that one day I will be perfectly and totally in his presence….I’m definitely going to need a heavenly body because the joy he fills me with now sometimes makes me feel like I’m about to explode!

I love the image of Heaven because it is perfect, perfect peace. Every quarrel, every hurt, it’s all gonna be resolved. All of God’s children will be together and we won’t hurt each other anymore; we’ll finally understand how to love perfectly. And the fact that we’ll all be worshiping the Lord together in one place, forever….that amazes me.

It makes me so excited to think of the wedding feast awaiting us when we go to be with the Lord. I imagine streets filled with rejoicing, loud trumpets, wedding bells….I’m sure it’ll be far more incredible than I can comprehend now, and I love that.

God is super good. I can’t wait to be with him forever:)

(Kudos to ABC13 for posting this on their website in it’s entirety.)

Are you sure you will go to heaven if you were you to die today?

You can know for sure. God explains it in the Bible. If you want to talk about it more, I’m more than happy to chat with you about it.

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Pray for this dear family and the many traumatized by this tragedy.